Your Story Matters
“Owning your story is the bravest thing you will ever do.” – Brene Brown
It doesn’t always seem like a good thing.
A diagnosis changes your life and turns everything upside down. Suddenly, people are looking to see how you’ll pull through it, cheering you on and telling you what an inspiration you are.
You don’t always feel like an inspiration.
Some days, you just want to crawl under the covers and disappear from the world.
Social media in our day and age has made it harder and harder to do that. With smartphones and a constant lifeline to the outside world, we’re in the spotlight even more than we’d sometimes like to be. Everyone wants an update — or we feel the pressure to keep everyone informed about our lives 24/7.
But there is a positive aspect to sharing your story. And more than just sharing, but really owning your journey and being okay with it.
It takes time. Some of us are ready to share details and process as the story unfolds. Others need to walk through it first, and process later. We are all different, every journey is different, and your story will impact someone else in a powerful way if you are willing to share it.
Because somewhere out there, someone just like you is struggling with the exact same thing, hoping for a sense of connection.
It may be easier to push away the feelings and just “get on with life”, but when you shift your perspective to the mindset that your journey is for a greater purpose, you are taking a big, brave step. Owning your story will empower others to do the same. It’s a ripple effect that you may never fully see in this lifetime, but it’s true nonetheless: your pain will have a purpose.
Choosing to see the greater good isn’t easy. Choosing to own your story isn’t easy. Choosing to share your journey for the benefit of others who are struggling isn’t easy.
But it will be worth it. You will grieve, you will release, and you will heal.
And it’s scientific, too! According to Lissa Rankin, M.D., “Telling your story—while being witnessed with loving attention by others who care—may be the most powerful medicine on earth. Each us is a constantly unfolding narrative, a hero in a novel no one else can write. And yet so many of us leave our stories untold, our songs unsung—and when this happens, we wind up feeling lonely, listless, out of touch with our life’s purpose, plagued with a chronic sense that something is out of alignment. We may even wind up feeling unworthy, unloved, or sick.”
Healing is only possible when you can let go and trust. Rankin continues, “Every time you tell your story and someone else who cares bears witness to it, you turn off the body’s stress responses, flipping off toxic stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine and flipping on relaxation responses that release healing hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, nitric oxide, and endorphins. Not only does this turn on the body’s innate self-repair mechanisms and function as preventative medicine—or treatment if you’re sick. It also relaxes your nervous system and helps heal your mind of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, and feelings of disconnection.” (Psychology Today)
So don’t be afraid of your story. It may hurt, it may feel uncomfortable to share at first. But the more you allow yourself to embrace your journey and truly believe in the greater purpose you play in the lives of others through your willingness to just be YOU, amazing things will start to happen — not just in your own life, but unlocking courage and inspiration in the lives of others who need to hear exactly what only you can say.
About the Author
Sabrina Gauer is our Communications Coordinator and Wellness Coach here at 13thirty Cancer Connect! Follow her blog and Instagram for more tips and encouragement for whole health and wellness living!
Cancer Taught Me How to Deal with Heartbreak
To make a long story short, I was in a car accident. It was a summer night, and I was on my way home from getting ice cream. While being examined after the accident, a large mass was discovered in my chest. Two weeks later, after many tests, I found out I had cancer.
From then on when I tell my story, the only response I ever hear is, “Thank God you were in that accident!”
It’s a nice thought, really. I get how people are trying to find the positive in a devastating situation. But honestly, at 19 years old…it was the last thing I wanted to hear. And thirteen years later, I’m still getting the “Thank God ____ happened!” response, and I think my eye twitches a little bit every time I hear it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am thankful I was in that accident because who knows if we would have found the cancer before it was too late! But still…something about the “what ifs” starts to get the better of me. And in the past year for me, life went from being the most exciting time to probably the one thing more devastating than cancer: heartbreak.
I would imagine as a parent, watching your child go to battle with cancer is heartbreaking. My poor mom; not only did she have a sick kid, she had a sick “young adult” who wasn’t very pleasant to begin with. She was definitely heartbroken, but she’s tough as nails and never let me see it.
So, when heartbreak happened to me earlier this year, it was the first time in my life that I knew what pain really was. Cancer wasn’t painful, it was inconvenient. But this current situation was true, raw pain.
I found myself reflecting back on the “cake walk” that cancer was. I found myself back in the same “Thank God ____ happened!” mindset before I made the potentially biggest mistake of my life. This time, when it was something I really cared about, I finally understood.
We learn our life lessons in many ways. People say that “everything happens for a reason” or that it “builds character”. Throughout my life experiences, I definitely learned some things; some were easy, some were hard. In the end, it’s doesn’t matter what life throws at you: cancer, heartbreak, loss… what matters is what you do with those experiences. They are what make you who you are.
As much as I hate to admit “everything happens for a reason”, it does. There is a master plan that we don’t necessarily create, but we navigate between the good and the bad. We use life’s teachable moments to feed who we are and how we live our lives. Many of my survivor friends have expressed feelings of “little things don’t matter anymore” or how big things become little things when real big things happen.
As much as I’d like to forget or pretend like I never had cancer, I did. And it was a big deal, until the next big deal came along. I think about what that experience taught me, and how it made me the person I am today. I’m strong, smart, determined, compassionate, and optimistic. I’m able to find the positive in all things because I’ve seen that it’s not a “big deal”. Learning to have a thick skin through cancer helped me understand that heartbreak really isn’t so bad.
It could be worse and in the end: I’m a Survivor.
So the next time someone says, “Thank God ____ happened!”, I’ll suppress my twitchy eye and say, “Yes, I’m thankful every day.”
About the Author
Karen L. Rector is one of our 13thirty participants! She graduated from St. John Fisher College in 2007 with a B.S. in Management – Marketing. She currently works at Windstream Communications in the HR – Training & Development Department as an Instructional Designer. She enjoys spending time with family and friends, going to local festivals and hosting parties.
Journeys 2017 – SOLD OUT!
**Journeys is now SOLD OUT! Thank you for your generous support!**
16th Annual Celebration of Living
November 4th, 2017 6:00PM
Temple B’rith Kodesh
2131 Elmwood Ave
Rochester, NY 14618
Please join us!
Silent Auction, Raffles, Wine Pull, Cocktails, Music, Dinner and Dessert!
Make a Difference Award
Dr. Barbara Asselin Golisano Children’s Hospital
Corporate Sponsor Salute
Valpak of Rochester, Inc.
Special Performance
The Bridges of 13thirty With Special Guest Artists Larry Moss and Kelly Cheatle Airigami.com
Purchase Tickets
Contact info@13thirty.org or call (585) 563-6221 for more information.
13thirty Fit – Working Out Together!
You know that exercise is always more challenging with a friend. Whether you’re hitting the gym together, being nutrition-conscious, or meeting up for a run, you help each other reach your goals and feel great together at the same time! Now imagine a class of about 10 people, specifically designed for those of us who have come through surgeries, undergoing cancer treatments of various degrees, and various levels of fitness capabilities. Talk about upping the ante!
At 13Thirty Fit, every Wednesday night, we are pushed, challenged and changed together. We are choosing to make time for ourselves, encouraging each other—no matter what our week has looked like, what difficult situations we’ve faced, or how we’re feeling!
Katlyn Hutchings – Nutritionist
Another big piece of 13thirty Fit is nutrition. This past Wednesday, we were taken back to our childhood snacks (in this case, “ants on a log” with locally produced Once Again Nut Butter) and discussed the importance of a whole-foods and nutrient-rich diet. Exercise is important, but what you put in to your body is even more vital to daily health!
As we build up to two 5Ks this May, I’m determined to keep pushing the limits and challenging myself. Cancer is a tough battle and knowing that you’re surrounded by a community of like-minded friends, who are working hard right alongside of you, is so uplifting and inspiring. Making our bodies fit, healthy and strong is the goal—but growing together and creating a safe, understanding community as we continue on our journey is the true reward.
About the Author
Sabrina is one of the awesome young adult survivors participating in 13thirty Fit! To read more of Sabrina’s work, visit her website, sabrinagauer.com
